15 Years Without My Mom, Linda

Death is Nothing at All

Death is nothing at all…

I have only slipped into the next room…

I am I, and you are you…

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name,

Speak to me in the easy way you always used.

Put no difference into your tone;

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word

that it always was.

Let it be spoken without effect,

Without the ghost of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same as it ever was;

There is absolutely unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you, for an interval,

Somewhere very near just around the corner…

All is well.

                                           

                                                   - Henry Scott Holland

This week marked the 15th anniversary of my mom's passing. I was telling a friend that after years of being sad for myself, of missing her for me, that in recent years, I have felt more sad for my mom - for her missing out on seeing her four kids through college, seeing all of us get married and being a grandmother to eight (going on nine) grandchildren. My friend sent me this poem, above, - a beautiful & simple reminder for me that while she is not here physically, she is very much here. Another friend who lost his dad a few years ago told me that he actually likes when people ask about him, that he likes talking about him. I feel the same way. I love talking about my mom & dad. And the more I do, the more I really do feel them here.

One of Griffin's Christmas gifts was a Names & Places Book with photos of people we love, including three of his grandparents who are no longer living. He can quickly identify them by name, which is a good start. And because we've told him, he knows Farmor made the blanket he sleeps with. As he gets older, it'll be even more important for us to keep talking about them so that he and his soon-to-be brother or sister know them as they know anyone living - that his Farmor, Pop & Grandma Linda are just as familiar, present, here.